What a year! Just months after our diagnosis of Cowden’s Syndrome in the fall of 2011, Meghan and I took on 2012 completely unsure what to expect. As a matter of fact this very week last year, I was anxiously awaiting word on her thyroid biopsy slides that I had had transferred to a new hospital. Ironic that I sit tonight, waiting to hear when the next thyroid biopsy will be. The more things change…
I lost the ability to say, “I can’t.” Instead I gained “Nerves of Steel” attacking this syndrome head on.
I lost my self pity and gained determination watching my daughter start her own awareness campaigns.
I lost my fear of driving on highways and in big cities. Now I navigate NYC like a (cautious) professional, and even venture to hospitals in NJ and Boston.
I lost my fear of ridiculously large medical bills. Instead I get to them when I can, knowing in most cases they are fortunately not mine to pay anyway.
I lost about 3 more sizes, and have finally settled into clothes that fit.
I lost my muscle tone, as wild days kept exercising at bay.
I lost sleep, and more of my brown hair to gray as worrying kept me up many nights.
I lost my breasts in a bilateral mastectomy, but replaced them with perky new silicone ones, and with that…
I lost my fear of breast cancer and those ridiculous breast MRIs!
I lost my feeling of loneliness after my surgery when I got to spend a week chatting it up with my Mom.
I lost some of my close friends, who understandably tire of hearing me repeat the same stories without resolution, but I gained an incredible online support “family,” through Facebook, through PTEN world, and through my blog.
I lost that sense that we are alone at this battle against Cowden’s Syndrome, and I gained a deeper appreciation for the friends that call, message, and connect me to organizations like NORD, and the Global Genes Project.
I lost my uterus, and my ovaries, but I was done with them anyway, and I gained permanent birth control and instant hot flashes!
I lost one of my Grandpas who I know I was so lucky to have for so long, but whose loss is felt deeply.
I lost my old cell phone, and finally traded it in for a “smart” phone.
I lost my old church, for reasons that still break my heart, but my family has been welcomed home at a new church where we are still marveling in God’s mercy and grace.
I lost my negative attitude about Staten Islanders when I watched my friends and neighbors rally to help the victims of “Superstorm Sandy.”
I lost my car in a ridiculous accident, but this week replaced it with a 2013 Hyundai Sonata.
I lost the way I sometimes took my grandparents for granted after Grandma Edith fell this fall. I always loved them with all my heart, but I will remember how lucky I am each and every day.
In 2012 I gained tools I will use every day as I move forward.
Determination – that we will beat this!
Focus- on what matters most.
Perspective- that everyone suffers.
Forgiveness- because negativity hurts me more than them.
Gratitude- for the kindness of family, friends, and strangers.
Compassion- as I watched my little girl continuously open her heart to others.
2012 had plenty of hard times, but like my car, it was far from a “total loss.”
Here’s to the lessons to be learned in 2013.
Wishing you all health and happiness!
9 thoughts on “Lessons Learned in 2012”
Happy New Year and may God find how people can cure this.
Thanks. Health and happiness to you!
I did it again! I nominated you for several awards.
Flattered… Happy and HEALTHY new year to you!
You too…you deserve it!
FABULOUS post! I LOVE THIS! Thank you for it and the perspective.
Happy and HEALTHY New year!
Bless you and yours. May your 2013 bring everything you wish for and more for you and your loved ones.
Thanks, and the same to you. I have learned so much from following your facebook posts. Keep sharing the road to good health!