So my fourth grader told me today that her State Exam was “tricky,” but she thought she got only 2 wrong.

I have absolutely no idea if her assessment is accurate.  I am only grateful that for one afternoon, her anxiety was lower.

Last night before she went to bed, we spoke a lot about testing, and my expectations for her.

As I have said before stress, and chronic illness just don’t mix, so I am careful with my words.

So, I explained to her that her best – regardless of the attached number – will ALWAYS be good enough for her father and I.

Wise beyond her years, she quoted a former teacher who apparently told them, “Your best is good enough for your parents. Your best is good enough for me. Now make sure your best is good enough for you.”  This followed by a cheery, “Chill out – You got this!”

As she lay her head down, last night, and tonight, she repeated those words to me.

There really are so many teachers who “get it.”  The kids are so much more than any number on a piece of paper.

It is such a challenge being on the parent end of things.

But, at the end of the day, these aren’t the tests that matter to me.   Not really.

On Monday the 1st of April there were 13 vials of blood.  On Saturday the 6th there were 15 more.

This weekend there was a 24 hour urine test, and 7 more vials of blood before school Monday.

These are the tests that keep me up at night.

These are the tests she has no control over.

These are the tests whose scores really do matter.

Hormones, Thyroid, neurotransmitters, immune function…etc… etc…

The results for the school tests won’t be in until August.

Some time in the next week I will have to deal with this latest lab panel, and determine if we have any new answers, or just more questions.

Perspective is a definite reality check sometimes.

She will go to school and do her best, and I know regardless – she is already successful.

I only wish I could hold onto that same confidence, as I await these lab tests.