I actually watched it happen. We were walking up the hill to swim practice last night. Then she was limping.
She handed me her bag – struggling to balance. Before I could ask what had happened…
“My hip, my groin, the whole thing!” Gesturing near her hip bone and down her outer thigh.
I looked for a bench but there was none. She wasn’t interested anyway.
“We can’t sit – I will be late for practice!” Exasperated that I would even think she should stop walking while writhing in pain.
“Um, Meg – I was thinking you shouldn’t go to practice.”
“No way! We are here. I am going, and besides- the only time I feel close to normal, like everyone else – is in the water.”
We took away soccer.
We took away dance.
We can’t take away swimming.
So I made sure she asked her coach to help her stretch the hip. She stopped only once during the hour and fifteen minutes. I am sure I could not have kept up.
As I walked, and she limped back to the car she said it was, “not so bad.” And, she was “glad” she practiced.
Dedication. Admirable. Torture.
After the shower it all fell apart quickly. She froze almost completely. We rubbed it, and elevated it. Within an hour she needed help walking.
She got settled into our bed and tried to rub her hip.
The yelp indicated the pain on her hand and wrist has not subsided either.
As we got her comfortable I thought forward, about the week to come.
I emailed her genetecist and her oncologist this week. I attached photos of her hand. I attached the copies of the MRI report. They responded inside of a few hours.
Biopsy those lesions. On this they agreed. Cowden’s Syndrome -PTEN Hamartoma Tumor Syndrome. Soft tissue tumors are common. The oncologist reminded me only one lesion was visible during her exam just 2 weeks ago.
I know. I watched the other one pop out as she cried out in pain during a shopping trip to Kohl’s. It wasn’t there. Then it was. Now it is. And it hurts too.
Tuesday we will see an orthopedist. Thursday we will see a hand surgeon. Two more doctors we didn’t plan for. Two more afternoons lost waiting. Two more opinions to contend with.
And the prevailing uncertainty that anyone will ever fix the problem.
She is walking a bit better tonight. That is encouraging. A nice afternoon with a friend. Conversation for me was easy and comfortable. Grown up talk – something I have craved, while the children swam in the pool. Almost normal for a few hours there. Almost.
The car is going to stay in the “car doctor” over the weekend. Apparently its condition has been downgraded.
Paperwork to begin a complaint with Better Business Bureau should arrive early next week.
Maybe I should give the CAR an ISAGENIX shake or meal bar. It might be more productive than what is being done to it.
Monday we should know more.
Monday we should also hear from the rheumatologist about her thoughts on the MRI.
Sandwiched in between concerns about family and friends alike. In some ways our lives are miles different. In more ways – they are exactly alike.
Patience. Worry. Anxiety.
Tick Tock, Tick Tock… that would be the sound of summer passing us by….
beatingcowdens 