Happy 2nd “Boob Day!”

My math mind is full of numbers.  It is full of lots of things actually, and sometimes I wish I could get a few of them out… quite a few.

I am pretty good – although not perfect- with dates.

Today marks three months since my father died.  Flying free with the angels I am sure, yet I miss him.  A lot.  A blink of an eye, and an eternity.

Tomorrow is my nephew’s birthday.  He will be 6.

I remember his 4th birthday quite clearly, although I didn’t see him that day either.

On March 5th in 2012 I had the “prophylactic” bilateral mastectomy.  The one that ended up being stage 1 DCIS.  Quite the surprise party.

Happy Boob Day

And while I don’t even miss my old boobs, the new ones get scrutinized a lot more than the old ones.  Well meaning surgeons, they say things like “that kind of volume falling away is normal,”  or “we can even that out whenever you want.”  The thought of someone coming near me again with a scalpel right now makes me ill.  They will have their chance – years from now when these girls have to be replaced.  Maybe then I will have time to care more.

The last 2 years have been a whirlwind.  Well…maybe even before that.  The scope of the changes in our lives in recent years require more than I can muster in a 10 PM post.  But, being a numbers person…

2nd-birthday

Between Meghan and I we have had 5 surgeries in the last 2 years.  She has me beat 3 to 2.  But, I have lost more body parts.  I am down 2 breasts, a uterus and 2 ovaries.  She lost her thyroid, and a vascular cyst in her hand.

I am still crossing my fingers about my spleen.  That one’s up for MRI in April.  Hoping the 4 tumors there are behaving.

spleen

There comes a point where you have to laugh I guess.  People think “Oh no! A mastectomy!!”

I think – “Whatever it takes…”  But then again I had a pretty good teacher. (XO MOM)

I guess it’s all about perspective.

Meghan is really into identity, and figuring out where she belongs.  This week I bought her a “Previvor” T shirt.  She was thrilled to wear it to school today.  She takes the opportunity to explain genetic cancer risks whenever she can.  While I am happy she is confident I shudder at reality.

This is only stage 1 in her life as a previvor, staying one step ahead of genetic cancer risks looming large.  This is only the beginning.

We run from doctor to doctor.  We alternate surgeries.  We try to laugh in between as we deal with the rest of life.  Time is very difficult to balance.  The constant running to doctors and the anxiety of waiting for them to find “something” can literally make you insane.

time struggle

If you let them.

And I think that’s probably the key.  And the message.

I am overwhelmed this week.  Really fried.  Having a tough time keeping it all together.

Then I think…

I was ahead of thyroid cancer 20 years ago before I knew the depth of the risk.

I am 2 years beyond the threat of breast cancer.

My girl is weeks past the looming thyroid cancer that threatened her.

Two years.  New boobs.  No sagging on this 40 something gal.

Plus I am a HELL of a lot better off than I was two years ago at this time!

Ash Wednesday.  Never raised to “give up” for Lent.  Rather to use it as a time for focus.

Time to get out of this funk.  Forget November.  Time to be thankful is right now.

And today I am thankful for this little girl whose diagnosis saved my life.

My body may be 40, but my boobs are only 2!

Thankful to God and this little chick!

This kid is clearly a "FORCE" to be reckoned with!
This kid is clearly a “FORCE” to be reckoned with!

FORCE

One thought on “Happy 2nd “Boob Day!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s