June 18, 2012
As I was receiving the news of my grandfather’s passing, I mean within moments, my cell phone rang.
It was the endocrinologist we had seen the Thursday prior about the thyroid. It was hard to wrap my head around the conversation at first, but I was struck by the reality that this is it. This is how life will always be. Life won’t stop for the doctor’s appointments and test results, and the appointments won’t stop for life. So somehow, we need to find a way for them to get along, and exist – simultaneously.
The thyroid sonogram had been done on the 14th. When we left him that day he was comfortable waiting a year for the ultrasound, and just seeing her in 6 months. He told me he would call me after he compared her November 2011 sonogram CD to the new one.
So I stopped in the hallway at my school. Tears were still streaming down my face as I composed myself enough to talk to the doctor.
He reviewed the older images and compared them. There are a lot more nodules, he didn’t even give me a number, and most of them are very small. However, there is one a bit bigger than all the others. He would like to keep an eye on that one.
Instead of a sonogram in a year, we got bumped back to 6 months. Doctors seem to like to treat us, patients with Cowden’s Syndrome, in 6 month increments. Now if I can just figure out a way to synchronize them so we are not ALWAYS scanning something…
So, the last time we were there they told us to prepare. She will have thyroid cancer I was told. Until then, they will just watch. December 27th it is then.
Even as I continue to wonder if all these thyroid nodules couldn’t be provoking this puberty, setting off a way too early growth cycle, I knew I wasn’t going to get an answer. At least not today.
So, I closed the phone and dried my eyes. One day the thyroid will turn, but it’s not today. Not now. At least we can have the week to bury Grandpa in peace.