leap of faith

And that is what we took.

Stuck in a corner – a stifling corner, with anxiety, and all of its evil friends – we decided to break free.

And I can not think of a better thing we could have done.

Today was Meghan’s 3rd full day at her new school, and while she misses her friends – she is adjusting beautifully to the welcoming students and professionals that have greeted her.

She received an outstanding foundation at her old school – teachers who worked alongside her right up until we made the move last week.  She received a foundation from them that will allow her to soar here.

I am eternally grateful.


But there is a time for moving on.

Sometimes it happens neatly at the end of 5th grade.  And sometimes it happens before that.  This was her time.

Which shouldn’t surprise anyone because nothing really seems to be wrapped up in a neat little organized package – not in life, and certainly not in Cowden’s Syndrome.

She changed schools, but the Syndrome stays.  And sometimes that’s a hard reality to swallow.

See she is so excited to meet new children, and to run and play and socialize – we hoped that maybe the release of tension would eliminate the pain.  It took a few days for the pain to catch up.  But, it moved too.  It lives with her – no matter what school.  Although I am convinced it is less than it was.

Stress is evil.  Tension is its nasty twin.  The conbination wreaked havoc on her already struggling body.

stress pain tension circle

Now, there is much less stress and tension, but there is still pain.  A knot in the hip that doesn’t want to quit is pestering her still.  And while I am grateful that the tolerance is higher, I am not sure if the pain is any less.

Any time an injury lingers, or a pain persists for more than 2 weeks – even if it is intermittent – we have to ask ourselves if it is time to go for imaging.

Xrays are not good for Cowden’s Syndrome.  Radiation can send our sensitive cells into a tailspin.  And the alternative – MRIs, are taxing – on everyone.  But how long do you wait for a pain to go away when you have a syndrome that provokes tumor growth?  How do you know what is the right time?

We scheduled the summer appointments.  I was hoping to wait until then for all the check ups and tests.

Somehow, I suspect we will have to see someone a bit sooner.

But, I am stalling.  Maybe the happiness will cure it.

Maybe swim season – her first ever competitive sport she ADORES – will straighten it out.

Maybe.. just maybe… we won’t have to add one more confused doctor to the list of clueless professionals who don’t know how to help us anyway.

Maybe… her blood results from Dr. Elice will come in this week, and maybe there will be an answer or two.



Maybe I will just go fill up my wine glass again.


2 thoughts on “Maybe…

  1. Thank you for this post… I’ve had my share of dealing with the “what if” question this week and somehow I feel less alone tonight 🙂

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