Groundhog Day

“Groundhog Day” – who doesn’t remember the movie?  There have been plenty of days I have thought of it.  I may need to watch it again soon.

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Pediatric Endocrinology is a ridiculously small sub specialty.

There is this web of interconnections, and all sorts of people who have lost sight of the patient.

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Ultimately I may need to head out-of-state to try to get a clean opinion.  But, I have to take that and so many other things one step at a time.

But, after the travesty on Thursday, I was left with little choice but to keep me appointment with the surgeon at our current hospital.

You remember the surgeon?

He’s the one who did a great job on the surgery.  The one who said, when we went for the follow-up, that he only needed to see her ever again if she felt anything in her neck.  And when she did feel something in her neck I had to jump through 12 hoops to convince him he should see her.  And then when he saw her, he proclaimed the lump a salivary gland and told us to return “one more time” in a few weeks.

But then there was that horrendous week in the hospital.  And while she was being treated for gastritis, a hematologist felt her neck and said, “It’s a lymph node.”  So they sent her for a sonogram which said it was a lymph node.

So when we went back to see the surgeon and brought him the sonogram report he got annoyed and ordered his own ultrasound, which we got to wait 3 hours for.  And then he called me to tell me everything was fine, even after the 45 minute exam where the tech measured the lymph node in her neck.  So we were good to part ways until I asked for a copy of that report too.

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And 10 minutes later my cell phone rang telling me doctor “I am sure it’s fine, but just in case,” wanted to see her again.  So after some haggling we arranged for June 16th at 1.  Which was ok.  Until they called me Friday to tell me I could come in at 9:30 or 10:45.  “How about 1, like you said originally?”

So the appointment was set for 1, and I punched out of work at 12.  We got to the hospital at exactly 1 (a 20 mile drive) after some typical traffic, and a near miss of a three car accident in front of us on the highway (thank you angels) on line for the parking garage.  I called up to let them know we’d be a few minutes.  And we sat.  And we sat  And we sat.

Finally we began to inch forward just a bit.  Then there was just one car in front of me.

And he was not paying a bit of attention, as a large black SUV cut right into the front of the line.

Now at times like this I try to focus.  Maybe there was a medical emergency. Maybe… Maybe…

So as much as I wanted to get out of my car screaming, I held my composure and talked about all the reasons they might have done that.  Until a hospital employee, likely late for work, surfaced as the driver.  He left his car across the sidewalk, took the ticket from the attendant and raced into the hospital.

It was 1:35.

And then I noticed some scurrying.

I thought the car was stuck.

It turns out the self-important line cutter had taken his keys- blocking the entrance and causing the line of 20 cars behind me to continue to grow.

The car was booted and moved.

We got to the appointment around 2.

As usual...
As usual…

The doctor spoke to Meghan.  He asked her how she was doing.  She told him about her pain.  And about her throat clearing.  And about how tired she is.  She mentioned working hard to get so swim practice.

I don’t think he heard a word.

He felt her neck and proudly proclaimed he felt nothing.  By now I was so tired of this I just wanted to get out.  I figured we were done.  I was glad he could feel nothing.  If only I trusted him.  Truth be told, I haven’t put a hand on her neck in 4 weeks.  There is just no point.

“I want to see her at the end of the summer.”

WHAT?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

3 visits ago he never wanted to see her again.  Now he has ultrasound and 2 visits at which he told me she was fine.  Let it go.  Unless of course, he just doesn’t quite trust himself…

“I’m glad she’s feeling so well.”

EXCUSE ME??????????  Did you just see MY kid?  Because MY KID is incredibly polite, and often very positive.  She is articulate and bright, but she will NEVER tell you she feels WELL.  She doesn’t believe in lying.

Some days this is like a bad movie. Or a dream where your finger is stuck in the door and it keeps closing over, and over, and over again.

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August 18th.

Damn.

So much for a month without doctors.

When do you, as the Mom, put an end to it?  Knowing that any “miss” falls right on you, it’s so hard to defy their recommendations, even when their competence can be questioned.

Rheumatology on the 30th.  GI on July 2nd, and Pediatric Endocrinology AGAIN on July 3rd.  And that’s just the first week.

I guess I better plan something fun for the 1st.  Something worthy of a stepping stone for that bridge…

Her entire right side hurts to the touch tonight.  Every natural pain remedy I research has something her reflux doesn’t allow.

She fell asleep tonight reading her Bible.  Our Pastor sent her a long letter with some great verses of comfort.  She hasn’t stopped rereading it.

Sigh…

Two hours to get in.  Two hours to get home.  Less than 30 minutes on the floor of the hospital.

“This is getting old Mom.”  Wise kid.

“‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise” – Laura Story

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