Changes – big small, and in between

All sorts of changes… and today on Easter, one of the most significant.

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My Mom said to me many times when I was a teen, that I would do more changing in my 20s than I ever would in my teens. She was absolutely right.

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I guess she didn’t want to overwhelm me, because she never mentioned the volume of changes to take place in your 30s.

You grow up sure.  You have strong opinions.  And slowly… they evolve.

I’d like to say the values I was taught as a youth are still at my core, but my expression of those values has changed over time.

And, while all that was taking place – I managed to meet the love of my life.

Sometime after we married we purchased a true “handyman special,” which we are still polishing up 13 years later.

Then there was this beautiful little girl – rocking our worlds from the very beginning.  NICU, colic unceasing, OT,PT, Speech, hospitalizations, chronic viruses, tests, doctors, surgeries – and eventually Cowden’s Syndrome.

She grew into a beautiful young lady – despite the odds stacked against her.  Her very existence changed my long standing beliefs on modern medicine, and strengthened my faith in God every step of the way.

My family unit is so strong.  We are incredibly blessed to hold each other’s hands through the twists and turns and changes life has in store.

Today was a big one.

On this, Easter Sunday, the Celebration of the Resurrection of our Lord, my family stood in front of the Moravian church and professed our intention to become members of their community.

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My history, my heritage, my core, was developed as a Lutheran.  My heart is now Moravian.

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And their motto, “In essentials unity, In non-essentials liberty, In all things LOVE,” speaks to my soul.

We make decisions every day – guided by the power of the Holy Spirit, with faith that we are moving in the direction intended for us.

The fact we now attend worship as a family of THREE, leads me to be sure we are on the right path.

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My 30s have sure been a trip.  I have only a few more months left and I wonder what else is in store.  But heck, then there are the 40s to look forward to.  One day my mom will get a few minutes to sit still, and I’ll  grab a bottle of wine and ask her all about them.

No Regrets

Photo found on the Facebook Page “Perpetual Optimism”

Isn’t that just the truth??  Goes along with the idea that “Everybody has Something.”  Now if we could all just find a positive way to channel it.

Not always so easy.  I cried today.   I finally found a nice oncologist who takes my insurance.  I saw her on Tuesday, but she wants me to get right on scheduling the colonoscopy.  So I called to set up the appointment with the GI doctor and the first appointment was the day after our vacation.  As I hung up the phone cried – overwhelmed by ANOTHER doctor, ANOTHER appointment.  But it was my very smart Meghan who said, “Mommy if it is going to make you cry, just make it the next week.  You can still go, just a little later.”  I rescheduled.

My girl is in bed.  Sick and feverish.  We ducked an ER visit tonight, and am hoping to do the same tomorrow.  Along with the Cowden’s she just has a rotten immune system.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring, for any of us?

Tonight I will not be angry about the past, the diagnosis, the syndrome that has taken so much of our time, freedom, and spontaneity.  I will instead be grateful.  For the geneticist who cared enough to find me an oncologist when I couldn’t.  For the pediatrician who has called 3 times since we left his office at 2.

This past year has changed us, for sure.  Cowden’s Syndrome has transformed us into different people.  But I will never look back at this last year with eyes of regret or sorrow.  I look back with gratitude.  For the health I have, for the friends that have stood by me, for the new friends I have made, for my family.

Constantly changing, none of us are ever the same.   The question is WHAT do you want to change into?  I know what I pick…

Image credit google.com