Back to work, back to reality!

Elementary school kids can be really cute.  Sometimes.  I have been out more than I have been in these last few months, but since I have been at my school a long time I have a relationship with many of the kids and their families.  So, when I walked back in on Monday I was accosted by small people, all of them waist high.  Hugging my belly and telling me how much they missed me.

Um, thanks… and OUCH!

I smiled as I tried to slip away from them without offending anyone.  They are so innocent.  Not a single one thinks to ask why I was gone, they are just happy to see me.

I walk to my classroom, carrying my extra light bag that weighs 6 pounds.  I know this because I was told to carry nothing over 10 pounds, so my overprotective – God I love him – husband brought down the scale we use to weigh our luggage, and checked on my bag.

He knows I like to drink a LOT of water during the day.  He brought a case to my room, so I wouldn’t have to carry it.  He is a pretty good guy.

I sit and look around.  It has only been a few weeks again, but it looks strange.  Different.  I get the sense I am not too sure I belong.

Then I look at my schedule.  Classes are coming.  Real classes, expecting me to have lessons for them. 

You mean I have to teach too?  Wasn’t getting here enough?

I made it through – thankfully my days were shortened so I could deal with other issues. 

I was OK with coming home from the hospital right after surgery, but did this doctor really know what she was doing sending me back to work in less than 3 weeks?  Probably.

My surgery site barely hurts, and aside from some light bleeding, things are getting better.  I have to keep  behaving, and that is hard.  Very unlike me.

It was probably good to get up and out of the house.  To be around people.  To be reminded that life isn’t just about me and life goes on while you are home recovering from surgery.

I am just so incredibly TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!  The deep, bone crushing kind.  I need my energy back.

Tomorrow there are no kids in school.  Staff development for the teachers.  I am starting to feel like I have a purpose again.  Less wallowing, more working. 

My clothes are all picked out.  Let’s see what they make of my favorite breast cancer ‘survivor” T shirt.  I may be exhausted, but I will be sure my sense of humor follows me to work and wherever else I go.

If we can’t laugh at ourselves, and our own lives, we are in a LOT of trouble.

Falling Stitches, and other Hysterectomy Recovery Issues

Johnson and Johnson Band Aid 2
Johnson and Johnson Band Aid 2 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

WARNING, some of this text may be a bit graphic, and might be better reserved for those recovering from a hysterectomy!

Enough with the bleeding already.  That’s it.  I am done.  Over it.  I had my hysterectomy 2 weeks and 2 days ago.  I didn’t know headed in that I was headed for 4 to 6 weeks of bleeding.  I thought this was supposed to make the bleeding STOP!

I guess if I had stopped long enough to think about it, I would have realized that the removal of a few things inside of me makes it necessary to stitch up a few other things, and as they heal it’s not unusual for them to bleed.

BUT, what is with the stitches?  (No not that STITCH!  You know what I mean!)

Stitched up Stitch
Stitched up Stitch (Photo credit: amesis)

Really it is easier to heal mentally from an external surgery than an internal one.  At least from the mastectomy I could watch the wounds close.  I could be sure I wasn’t doing too much.  I watched the bruising fade.  I knew I was getting better.

Now, just when I think this bleeding is letting up, (and it’s not  all THAT heavy, but just REALLY annoying) a stitch falls out of me, I begin to cramp, and on go the faucets again.

Faucet
Faucet (Photo credit: Joe Shlabotnik)

The doctor said the stitches are coming out a bit too early, but apparently they don’t care, because they are coming fast and furious.  Apparently my body seems to understand me when I say that stitches belong outside, not in.

What I want to know is why every time I think all is calm, there is this surge of blood.  Enough to scare the heart out of me.  Then, just like that it stops.

It seems to be taunting me.  Daring me to switch to the lighter pad, but I won’t do it.  Not yet.

I have cramps today.  The kind I would equate with sore boobs, and a craving for chocolate while I wait for my period.  Except, I don’t have any boobs – at least not ones that will be sore, and I won’t be getting my period ever again.

So what is with these cramps?

I am convinced stitches belong on the outside, where you can keep an eye on them.  I told them my body doesn’t like dissolvable stitches.  I guess I have to sit tight and wait while it cleans them out.

At least I am a professional at healing.