Bathing suits and other insecurities…

Coming into a year of blogging, with just a few more early memories.

beatingcowdens

Some days I forget.  I really do.  Some days the thought that I had my boobs cut off and replaced with these round silicone implants doesn’t even cross my mind.  Then, there are other days.

This morning I took a shower.  Not a rare occurence, but maybe it was rare that I wasn’t late.  That I had time to really look at things.  So I looked in the mirror.  First, at the small hysterectomyscars that are healing quite nicely.  (While I still have ISSUES with whatever is provoking the NEVER – ENDING bleeding inside, the outside scars look great.)

Then, I looked up.  Staring me right in the face were these perfectly round circles where my boobs used to be. 

Breast implant: saline solution filled breast ...

 There is a scar across each one.  No nipple on ether.  There is also the most bizarre indentation under my arm on both sides.  I looked at it for  a while.  Then I…

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4 thoughts on “Bathing suits and other insecurities…

  1. It’s good you remember to look on the bright side about still having a head full of hair, but don’t forget to let yourself be angry sometimes. I give myself an angry, bitter day every other month or so. I know planning it sounds silly, but I can feel myself getting upset so I have a day where I mope and cry and let it all out, then the next day get back to my life. I know this isn’t always realistic for someone such as yourself with a child looking to you.

    • I have plenty – Sometimes I have to write to refocus it out of me. You are right – she is a very observant kid so I have to watch my step, but I have taught her emotions are OK – all of them, as long as the bad ones don’t win! 🙂

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