Meghan slept until 11:20 this morning. She woke only to the sound of the hammering as her father works to trim out the upstairs rooms – a project that had an intended completion date of about 2005, but hey, life gets in the way sometimes.
We had woken earlier, Felix and I – but not too much earlier. We had wanted to go to church this morning, but learned a long time ago NEVER to wake Meghan. She had gone to sleep at 8 PM last night, and if she was still sleeping soundly in her own bed at that hour – well her body was clearly telling us to back off. We have a lot of respect for her body. It gets VERY cranky if you don’t listen carefully.
But, by 11 – we had become so ingrained in what we were going to do, that it wasn’t too hard to forget that our 9 year old was still sound asleep under her covers.
When she came stumbling out of her room to the sound of the hammer she was dazed but smiling. After a good morning hug she asked what we had to do today. When I told her that we were going to stay home all day she leaped into my arms.
Can I read? Yes…of course.
Can I watch some TV? Sure.
Can I take my shower later, and stay in my PJs? Absolutely.
While part of me was tempted to lecture her about getting up and showered and dressed, I refrained. Just because I could never bring myself to spend the day in my PJs, doesn’t mean she can’t.
In so many ways Meghan and I are somewhat different, but also a good deal alike.
Our bodies eventually shut down if they are always on the go. We need our down time.
Growing up with a sister and a mother who could move like Energizer Bunnies, I always felt a bit odd that I couldn’t keep up. They still move like that. And I still need to stop sometimes.
Now, I have a mini -me. (And my sister has two! :-))
So when I looked at the April calendar earlier in the month I had had some serious reservations about whether we could pull it off. For most of the month we were on a 7 day schedule.
Meghan switched schools.
We had PT twice a week, dance class, music class, swim practice, swim meets, test prep, doctor’s appointments….
But, we did it. A small hiccup last week when she started with an ear infection, but a quick run to the pediatrician (after the orthodontist, and before it transformed into a full-blown feverish mess) and we got it under control.
State tests – 6 days of them in the last 2 weeks. Stress – all of them. But they are over too.
Yesterday I pulled out Meghan’s spring clothes. There wasn’t much we could use. The sandals from last year were a size 6. She is a 7.5. The same was true for the clothes. We put even less away for the fall. Nothing really. But we will cross that bridge then. Right now she is almost 5 feet tall and every inch of her beautiful inside and out.
No wonder she needs to rest sometimes. Her body is certainly hurrying its way through its growth.
I spent the entire day at my desk. I just finished about an hour ago when I began to write. There were bills to file, papers to sort, letters to write. There is a letter writing campaign I am working on for a stop sign by my school.
There were some Emails to answer about Isagenix – the nutritional system that is changing my husband’s life.
http://meghanleigh8903.isagenix.com/us/en/landing_toxic.html (check that out here)
There were gifts to order, some lists to make, and I can now just about see the desk calendar, as it is ready to turn to May.
I probably should have gotten outside to enjoy the beautiful day too, but I guess this was my respite. I thrive on order and organization. I showered early – like I always do, but I relaxed by creating order.
You see Mom taught me a long time ago – that the more you look for order in life, the less you will find it. “You plan – God Laughs.” And I know she is right.
However, in this world where so many things are so far out of my control – I have a compulsion to control what I can. I can make sure the floor is clean, and the bills are paid, and the laundry is done. I can make sure there are always cupcakes for Meghan in the freezer in case there is a party. I can buy the cards, and order the gifts, and endeavor valiantly to balance my checkbook.
Crazy? Maybe. But I take satisfaction and solace in knowing that there are a few precious things left in my life I can control.
The last of a long series of lab tests ordered by my friend Dr. Elice was done Saturday morning. This is the week where I will find out what 37 vials of blood and 2 24 hour urine tests turned up. I will ask the 5,000 questions in my mind about endocrine function, and hormone levels, and ratios, and vitamin absorption. And, no matter how much I try to anticipate the answer, something will knock me flat on my ass.
So – for tonight, the floor is clean, the list is made, the desk is organized. For tonight I can rest, and gear up for whatever this week has in store. And somehow, after dance class, and PT, and swim practice, and 2 meets… somehow it will all be OK.
I’m not in charge of this. It’s in the hands of a power far greater than any of us.
I’m only in charge of keeping the fur off the kitchen floor.