Contrast

I’ve never posted from my phone before…

This week we are in Disney World. It’s our 10th summer vacationing here, and we’re not tired of it yet.  Most importantly – neither is Meghan.

Disney has magic. There is laughter and singing and smiles. There are rides and shows. There is a lot of what this overtaxed family needs way more than one week a year, but we count our blessings and take what we can get.

Disney is also not without its reality checks. Seven knee surgeries have not been gentle. The orthodopedist at this point disallows walking distances greater than .5 mikes at a time. This is the week my girl spends becoming one with some of her greatest fears. For most of this week she is wheelchair bound.

She also brings her allergies, even to Disney. Which means- when I can I sneak out early to try and order her breakfast before everyone else arrives. If I get there 15 minutes early, usually she can eat with us. She brings allergies, that are always on her mind as she walks past kids with drippy ice cream treats, as I sheepishly hand her things I packed. This is the week where everyone else’s desert looks delectable and hers is sometimes packaged cookies.

She brings her determination, and her inner strength, as she worked the lap pool before 8 this morning. She wheels herself when she can, determined to prepare for swim season.

This is a week of contrast. Of hiding on benches and taking calls from doctors for things that won’t wait.  It’s also a week of sitting on that same bench hours later watching the most awesome fireworks show.

Contrast. Life is about contrast. 

I’m going to go have a drink while we watch the funniest entertainer. 


Tonight she’ll stretch her legs and walk. Short distance. Tomorrow. There will be more time in that chair.

Laughing. No matter where you are, life has to have a lot of laughing.

To My Girl On Her Birthday

Sometimes you’re on top of the world.  Stay HUMBLE.

Sometimes you’ve hit a low.  Stay HOPEFUL.

The Lokai bracelet nailed it with real world advice.

Meghan as you turn 14, there is little more I need to tell about our back-story.  Anyone who wants to know whatever we are willing to share, need only look through the posts on this page.

Tonight my thoughts are on moving forward.

You’ve seen some low lows these past years.  But, you have also been blessed with some very “high” highs.  You are no stranger to struggle, but you are also well-acquainted with overcoming any obstacle, large or small, even if they are thrust repeatedly into your path.

You are true to yourself at all costs, a rare quality in a teen these days.  And while you wrestle with normal questions, I can tell you that your values, developed through your own processes, are strong and logical in that complex brain of yours.

We spend a lot of time together- more than most mothers get with their daughters.  And, while I am not a fan of the medical circumstances that cost us hours on the Belt Parkway, the Gowanus, the BQE, and the FDR, I am so grateful for the HOURS we have to talk.  About everything.  I am grateful that we have learned a mutual respect, and have even (almost always) safely figured out ways to agree to disagree.

The person you are impresses me.  And not just because I am your mother.  You have worked through adversity your entire life, and you have become stronger, wiser, introspective, and compassionate.

You have learned you actually enjoy (many) people.

You want to help others who have lived lives full of struggle.  And you will.

All of this will shake out with its details in the years to come.  But I want you to always remember this:

Your recent PTSD diagnosis was not a shock to either of us.  Nor is the “head-on” way you are meeting the challenge of learning more about yourself.  You will not sit back.  You will not let life happen with out you.  You will always persevere.

 

You my dear are taking that same pressure that can burst pipes, and you are “making diamonds.”

As you face the year ahead, and you look at the new adventures you will undertake in High School, move forward with the knowledge simply that the past happened.

And now – It’s the present.

While some things will always remain the same, some things will change all the time.


Learn. Grow. Laugh. Take risks.  You might get hurt, but you also are likely to have some of the most magical experiences of your life.

Set goals.  Carry them through, and when you need to – modify and reset.

I will be forever nearby, your cheerleader, and your guide on the side.

We are

#beatingcowdens

TOGETHER.

The days are sometimes long, but the years are short my love.

Savor them. I know I do.

Happy 14th Birthday!