Relax, Nothing is Under (My) Control

Today I  dropped my daughter’s iPad.  Down a flight of stairs.  With no case.  I’ve never seen quite so many pieces on a screen.  But, it still turns on.  And somehow we all managed to remain calm.  My husband set the appointment at Apple for Weds. night.  Yes, we have “Apple Protect.”  Yes, I know there may be a deductible.  And, while I called myself several names, I was most impressed that all three of us remained very calm.

Maybe we are learning.

Relax

NOTHING is under control really, except how you handle the things that are out of control.

Yesterday I had the dog to the vet.  In a little under a year since we rescued her, she has ballooned from 42 pounds to 65.  I guess she feels content in my house.  We must be doing something right.  There was this rash on her belly.  And $300 later, with a shot of antibiotics, some antihistamines, and this cone on her head – it’ll be ok.

April cone

Except in the middle of the night.  Then she needs her Mom to love her cause she can’t get comfortable.  But, hey, really sleep is overrated.

On Thursday we went to see the ENT.  He checks Meghan periodically since the hospitalization 18  months ago to gauge how her reflux is affecting her throat.  It was a bit redder than usual this time.  So, we juggled a few medicines and left with directions to find a GI.  Easier said than done.  Our last one was fantastic, but she took a break from practicing, and our local options are less than fantastic.  So we will seek, and hopefully find…

On Wednesday we had the 2 week follow-up from the biopsy.  We left with a script for progesterone which is apparently our only option.  It’s necessary to slow the growth of those precancerous cells, and hopefully get them to go away.  Verified with the head PTEN researcher in Cleveland, through my local geneticist.  I hate hormones.   Hopefully she tolerates it.  Hopefully the cells behave themselves.  Three month follow-up, then we schedule the next biopsy.  She needs another biopsy so we can have a “clean” one.  That’ll be in June.  Something to look forward to.

On Wednesday after the doctor, Meghan and I took the train from downtown to Times Square to see Daddy at work.  This is truly one of the highlights of her year and there was no way we were missing it!

NYE ball 2016

Favorite Family Picture! Wearing our "NEVER GIVE UP!" thegsf.org

Favorite Family Picture!
Wearing our “NEVER GIVE UP!” thegsf.org

On Tuesday we stayed home.  She missed play practice.  She was recovering.

Monday had started out full of energy – with a huge nail in my new tire.  Thankfully the car has warning lights to tell me when the pressure is low, and thankfully I got up early, because soon after I got home from getting it fixed, she woke up.  In pain.  We ended up spending Monday in the Emergency room at NYU.  All told about 8 hours, a CT scan, a chest X-ray and blood tests, they found an elevated WBC, and free-floating abdominal fluid.  The doctor said it’s likely a cyst burst.  She was vomiting so badly that morning I never knew WHAT had hit her.  Just something hard.  The fluid, in my very sensitive to her body, girl, was likely causing the severe pain – just being there.

 

One LAST IV for 2015

One LAST IV for 2015!

Maybe it was triggered by Sunday’s Swim Practice at the Long Course (50M) pool on Long Island.  Maybe not.  We’ll never know.

Christmas seems like only a blur.  Mom had it this year, a kind respite for me.  Some time spent with the family.  Some time to just be together.  It was perfect.  And I am so grateful.

 

My Family 2015

My Family 2015

My Sisters 2015

My Sisters 2015

Meghan with her Great-Grandparents 2015

Meghan with her Great-Grandparents 2015

The week has been wild, and I guess that’s why I’ve been quiet.  But, I am proud to say we have laughed despite the chaos.  I can’t think of a day this week I haven’t laughed so hard I cried.

NOTHING is under control.  At least not under MY control.  And I am going to TRY really hard to be more OK with that.

The schedule for 2016 will not lighten up even a bit.  I have an ultrasound Saturday, Meghan has an MRI on the 14th and the knee doctor on the 25th.  It will not slow down.  I must stay organized, and healthy, and focused.  I must continue to eat well and exercise.

Most importantly I must laugh.  Often.  With my family.  With my friends.  The adventures will continue.  But

IMG_5580

Happy New Year to all!

NYE ball 2016c

 

One thought on “Relax, Nothing is Under (My) Control

  1. Dear Lori and Meghan, I am totally flabbergasted by the news of precancer of the uterus. I am so sorry everything is hitting so fast and furiously at such a young age. My sister was born with a complex dural av fistula much like your friend in Australia, but up until now at the ripe old age of 37 I have walked through life relatively unscathed, and with my head firmly in the sand wrt cancer risk. I am completely perplexed by how differently this thing manifests from person to person even within the same family. Thank you for all the work you are doing on behalf of rare diseases. I hope to be able to fully join the cause one day soon for myself, for my daughter, and for all others who share the burden of a rare disease. You are both blessings to so many people, thank you for sharing your story.
    –Kathleen

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