Family – Page 10 – beatingcowdens

A breath of normalcy… shhhh…

Published on July 7, 2012 by beatingcowdensLeave a comment

There are lots of things that I like about Saturdays. First, my husband is home with us, and that makes any day better. I love the routines – wash the sheets and towels and dog beds, head to the bank, general clean up, and the race to see how fast it can all get done so the day can start.

Perhaps what I love the best about Saturdays is that they are almost always free of doctors. Unless we are sick or have some kind of emergency, Saturday is a doctor – free day. That means no appointments, no waiting in offices, no waiting for phone calls that don’t come (UGH!), no dealing with billing offices and in and out of network nightmares. NO DOCTORS!

Have I mentioned I love Saturday?

And today it was even better. Beyond “normal,” we had a surprise visit from 2 nephews, all grown up now – 18 and 23 – who spent this really HOT day, swimming with us, and just hanging around to chat, play Kinect, and even Uno.

We ate a delicious and healthy dinner. Grilled chicken on the barbecue, roasted potatoes, chick pea salad, and grilled zucchini from our garden! And, it was ALL prepared by my husband (who is incidentally a MUCH better cook than I will ever be!)

It gets better – if you can imagine. Today, for the first time since last summer, I put my new fake boobs, and my post hysterectomy body into a bathing suit – AND I SWAM! 🙂 And, it was ok. The suit fit. Everything stayed where it belonged. It looks like the hysterectomy has finally healed, and shhhhhhh…… even if it was just for today –

it was really nice to have a breath of normalcy in our lives!

EVERYONE has SOMETHING!

Published on July 4, 2012July 5, 2012 by beatingcowdens1 Comment

Meghan and I have a lot of “deep” conversations. More than you might expect an 8 (almost 9) year old to be capable of.

Today she was wondering why we have to have Cowden’s Syndrome. Why is our PTEN gene broken?

Well, I said to her, everyone has something to deal with – and this is what we’ve got.

She thought for a minute, trying to figure it out herself, and then said, “What do you mean?”

“No matter where you go in the world, in every city and town, in every street, in every country, on every continent – EVERYONE is dealing with SOMETHING.”

I told her there is a saying that goes around “If everyone could toss all their troubles into a circle, and choose which ones we wanted, we would likely take our own back.”

Almost indignant she said,, “Why would I take back Cowden’s Syndrome? It stinks.”

“Yep, but would you trade it for the family that doesn’t have enough money to buy food, the family that lost their house to a fire, the family where the parents have lost their jobs, the family where the parents aren’t in love, or are divorced, the child who can’t have any pets because her sisters are allergic, the family whose Mom or Dad died, fighting for the freedoms we celebrate today?”

It doesn’t take much for her to “get it.” That’s why I love her so much.

“There are kids without dogs,” she said. “Lots of them. And I really love Allie and Lucky.

There are kids without their own room, or even their own house.

There are kids whose Moms and Dads don’t love each other.

Some kids have other diseases where they have to go to the hospital even more than me.

_DSC0072 — Ist Holy Communion 2011, with GiGi and Pop

Some kids don’t get to know their grandparents or their great- grandparents, like I do.

I get it Mom, I think I do. But, still it seems like some people have no worries, no problems at all.”

“Those are the people I worry most about Meghan. Those are usually the people whose hearts hurt. They are often alone, or insecure, or feeling unloved. Trust me, EVERYONE has something.”

“I guess you were right Mom. I don’t like having Cowden’s Syndrome… but I wouldn’t trade our life for anyone’s.”

“I am glad – me either. Our “thing” to handle is medical, and we will get through it – together. Tonight we celebrate our country, and the freedoms it was founded on. We celebrate the soldiers who fought for our freedoms, and the ones that continue to fight. It is those freedoms that allow us the ability to battle whatever “thing” plagues our own life.

We are all struggling, and we are all lucky.”

Father’s Day

Published on June 17, 2012June 17, 2012 by beatingcowdens2 Comments

Some days it’s not about Cowden’s Syndrome, or tumors, or doctor’s appointments. Some days life just is about life.

Father’s Day. A day to celebrate the fathers in our lives.

My husband is the best dad in the world. I mean it. And he is a pretty amazing husband too. There aren’t enough words to describe how lucky I am.

My Dad, tries his best. He and my mom divorced when I was 5. He has struggled with his own life through the years, but we have stayed in contact. He does the best he can.

My stepdad, married my mom 24 years ago. He inherited 2 bratty teenagers and has loved us as his own from the beginning. He has put us through college, paid for 2 weddings, fixed houses, and been there through it all.

My Pop, my mom’s Dad is 92. A WWII veteran, and a retired firefighter, he is amazing. He and Grandma still live on the second floor of their own house. We lived in their house for 15 years, and they became a second set of parents for us. Now they are Great Grandparents. They pick up my daughter on half days, and love spending time with her.

Today my heart is heavy though. My stepdad’s father is suffering. When his son married my mom 24 years ago, they had no grandchildren. They didn’t expect to start out inheriting two teenagers, but they did. And they handled it gracefully. Over time Grandpa came to love us in a very special way. He is especially attached to my daughter, who he calls “Sapphire.” He even made sure she had a special sapphire necklace to always remember her name. He has been brave his whole life and has fought cancer in more places than I can count. He has been in the hospital for a month now, and this is it. He is ready. He has had last rites. He has asked his boys to take care of their mom. He has told God he is ready to go. So we wait.

Today we remember the fathers, grandfathers, and great grandfathers that have touched our lives. We hug some, and we miss some. We acknowledge their impact on us.

And today in my house, we whisper constantly a prayer to God. Today it’s not about test results or surgeries. Today we ask that He be merciful. Grandpa is ready to rest…