Motherly Worries

Her bloodwork was Saturday – the bloodowork to check the hormone levels.  Wednesday I will take her for a pelvic sonogram.  They are still trying to figure out who will do the breast sonogram.  Everyone is afraid.  No one knows what they are looking for.  Major NYC hospital, and everyone is afraid.  It doesn’t instill confidence.  When you have a rare disease, no one knows quite what to make of the realities that we face.  But this is my girl and I will not put my head in the sand.  Someone will do it.

She danced this weekend.  It was her second recital.  She will not dance on Broadway, but to her proud parents her smile was worth a million bucks.  Her ability to move – courtesy of PT and Celebrex, and her award winning smile.  For a few minutes on that stage, she was just like everyone else.  Sometimes its nice to be “normal.”

In a few minutes I will call to schedule the next MRI/MRA of the knee to check on the “leak” from the femoral artery causing her AVM.  We will do that the last week in June, just in case she needs more surgery, there will be time in July.

Of course all that depends on the hope that our June 14th appointment to check on the thyroid nodules is uneventful.  “They are precancerous.  They will turn.  We just don’t know when…”  At some point she will lose her thyroid to cancer.  And we can only wait.

Sometimes its good to be home.  To recover from surgery.  To make some phone calls.  Sometimes it just lets the worry fester.  I can accept that I have this damn disease… but why did it have to mess with my girl?  As a new internet friend eloquently said – eff you Cowden’s!

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