Keep on, Keeping on!

without hope

Several months ago I wrote about “The Beginning of the End”  Meghan was having trouble keeping us at dancing school.  The pain kept getting out in front of her.

While in some ways the decrease in stress these last few months, plus the return of Physical Therapy twice a week, have helped her pain – but, it became increasingly evident dance was just not meant to be.

She was sick, and missed class.  Then she was hurting, and missed another class.  She missed the dress rehearsal  and trophy night because she was home from school with a low fever.  Always seems to be something.

So as we headed out to “Candyland” yesterday morning, we all knew it would be her last recital.  The dancing takes a toll on her joints that it would be foolish to keep repeating.  But, that didn’t dampen the mood on the soggy Sunday.  Meghan was ready.

We started her day with the electrolytes from Isagenix that help her so much.  Then we left her backstage at the theatre with all the other dancers.

It can get long when your dancer is in number 25 in a show of 27 acts, but I find the other dances entertaining, and before we knew it – she was on stage, ready to shine.

There was no pain evident in that body as the rush of being on stage overwhelmed her.  She smiled and moved in ways my body just never could – or would.


When I met her at the stage door to bring her to her waiting father and grandparents, I had some flowers in hand for a job well done.  She knew this was it for her, but as always – she kept looking forward.  “I will get on stage again Mom.  Maybe in Junior High, maybe in a theater program.  I can’t keep dancing, but I love the stage.”




We took lots of great pictures.  We cherished the memories.  We enjoyed a nice lunch of Gluten Free pizza.

Yesterday was a rush


Today came the pain.  The elbows, the knees.  An epsom salt bath, and some relaxation.  It helped some, but its hard to tell.  She is so used to the pain.

And as she headed to bed, “How many weeks until my swim lessons start?”

Cowden’s Syndrome, you SOB.  You may have me exhausted, but you picked a worthy adversary in my girl.  She will not go quietly.  She WILL win.

“Beatingcowdens” Not just a blog title, but a way of life.

Candy Land 2013
Candy Land 2013

I fear this is the beginning of the end…


… of dance class that is.

It sounds so dramatic.  I guess maybe its not such a big deal.  But today it feels like one more thing on a list Cowden’s Syndrome has robbed her of.

Meghan was never going to be a performance dancer.  She wasn’t going to do ballet for hours.  But, for the last 3 years, she has taken one dance class a week.

First recital - 2011
First recital – 2011

Hip Hop.

Not because she knows the music, but rather because they dance in sneakers – and that is better for her joints.

I can’t say enough good things about the studio.  The owner is a compassionate, kind, professional, lovely woman who strives to make every child feel like a million bucks.  She revels in their accomplishments.  She celebrates every ability level.  She truly loves children, and dance.

The Proud Dancer with her fans
The Proud Dancer with her fans

This place is the perfect fit for Meghan.

Her joints acted up in the fall.  She missed a month before she could get it back together.  No worries – no sweat.

A few weeks ago she twisted an ankle at dance.  Xrays, a sprain.  A week or two off.

2012 On the Red Carpet
2012 On the Red Carpet

Then there was the shoulder thing.  Not dance related – but it still cost her some time.

And then tonight.  I picked her up from class and her flushed face told the story before her teacher had to.

“She hurt her hand, but we don’t know how.”

I do.


So, I took her home.  There was a shower, and some ice.  Nothing more than a light sprain I am sure.  But her back hurt too.  So we put her to bed very gently. And we spoke about maybe finding ways to increase swimming instead of maintaining dance.

The recital though is such a rush.  She loves it.  She loves being on stage – the energy.  The celebration.

On stage - May 2012
On stage – May 2012

Physical Therapy tomorrow morning.  We will let Dr. Jill input her thoughts – although I already know them.

She is pretty good when she dances.  She is a quick study.  She has made so much progress.  And she has some moves.  (Those are NOT from me!)

She will ultimately get to decide.  Although its probably for the best to back out now – before she really gets hurt.  The final decision will be hers.  So I say.

In reality the final decision has been made by Cowden’s Syndrome, and its ruthless attack on her joints and muscles, and connective tissue.

She is resting peacefully  – for now.  But I am cranky.

Things tend to work out as they should, but I am still waiting for this little girl…(young woman…AAAKK!) to catch a break…